


Like a Puzzle

by littlepinkbow



Category: BBC Radio 1 RPF, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Cancer, Childbirth, Christmas, E-mail, Easter, Easter Egg Hunt, F/M, Falling In Love, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Happy Ending, Hospitals, M/M, Original Character Death(s), Sad Harry, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-06-02 23:52:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6588349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlepinkbow/pseuds/littlepinkbow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When One Direction went their separate ways, Harry did what he had always wanted. He got married and started a family. Only, he didn’t realise that starting his family would mean losing his wife. In a few short minutes Harry felt like the world was taken away from him and given to him and there’s no real way to know how to feel on a day like that. </p><p>Being a single parent wasn’t so bad and Harry was certain he could do it, until he got an unexpected diagnosis for his daughter. While Zayn and Nick both thought Harry should reach out to the other boys, thought that Harry needed a deeper support system, Harry wasn’t willing to reach out to them. They had gone their separate ways and to Harry they had done that for a reason. He was doing just fine, really. </p><p>As fate would have it, Louis was brought back into Harry's life and it didn’t take Louis long to realise that sometimes fate has a funny way of rearing her head and this would be the last time that he ever let Harry Styles walk away from him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like a Puzzle

**Author's Note:**

> Special thank you to Casey for the [brilliant fanmix](http://8tracks.com/patdkitten/i-wanna-be-the-one) and to everyone who helped me along the way and the Big Bang Mods for organising this.

Harry’s wedding was the happiest day of his life. He remembered it so vividly in his mind looking up from his shoes to see his bride, Evelyn, walking down the aisle with her arm linked with her father’s. Harry’s throat had caught in his chest and he knew he was the luckiest man in the world. Her smile was so radiant, her eyes glistening and this had been the best decision that he ever made. The evening had gone flawlessly, just as Harry had expected and he was so eager to start the rest of his life with his bride. Nothing could be better than this moment. Or so he thought. 

One year later, Harry arrived home to find Evelyn in the kitchen, an apron tied around her waist and she was busily moving about. Stopping for just a moment, he watched his girl, his love, and he couldn’t even begin to bite back the smile that was smeared across his lips. “Hey there gorgeous, I’m home.” Harry said, crossing one of his feet over the other as he leaned into the door frame. 

“Harry! Finally! I feel like you were gone forever. I’ve just finished up dinner,” Evelyn said, bouncing slightly on her toes and nodding towards the oven, “Could you just get it out of the oven for me? Please?” She asked, her lips stretched into a smile. 

“Oh, of course baby.” Harry said, grabbing two pot holders and opening the oven, which was remarkably not warm at all, “Uh, babe. You made a bun. One bun in the oven? With no heat? For dinner?” Harry asked confused, standing back up and sitting the pot holders down on top of the stove. 

“I did. Well, we did. Actually, yes, we made it. The one bun. In the oven. Preferably not for dinner?” Evelyn had said, curling her fingers around the counter behind her to keep herself from launching across the kitchen at Harry. 

“We made a bun?” Harry still looked as confused as he could have been and then it was like someone turned on every light in the house, his eyes going wide and his jaw dropping, “We made a bun?! There’s a bun?!” Harry stepped across the kitchen in just a few steps, placing both of his hands on Evelyn’s stomach and leaning down to press a soft kiss just between his hands. “There’s a bun in here?” Harry repeated and if his eyes were full of tears and his words were choked, he wasn’t going to hide it at all. 

“There’s a bun in here. I mean, I just did the home test, but I wanted to tell you before we even went to the doctor. There’s a bun.” Evelyn had said and before she knew it Harry was on his feet pressing kisses to her lips. 

“I can’t believe this. I’m so excited.” Harry spoke against her lips and he knew he should be cautiously excited, but Harry really didn’t have a way to just be ‘sort of’ excited about anything. They were having a baby and maybe this was the best day of his life. But really, since he had been with Evelyn, his life had been full of best days.

Evelyn was 8 months and 2 weeks pregnant when Zayn and Nick got married. Harry had always thought their relationship was nothing if not strange, but they were happy. He hadn’t ever seen either of them happier on their own than they were together. 

“We could stay home,” Harry said gently, watching his wife as she attempted to slide her feet into her shoes. “It’s not a big deal.” Harry made his way across their bedroom and knelt down, helping slip her shoes onto her feet before pressing a soft kiss to her knee. 

“Absolutely not. They are our best friends and Nick actually agreed to get married. We are not missing this for anything in the entire world. Nothing. Plus the doctor said I could have a glass of wine and I am not missing out on that.” Evelyn’s smile was still radiant, Harry thought, even if she was uncomfortable. 

“You look beautiful, you know.” Harry said, standing back up and pressing a soft kiss to her lips before they left for the wedding. 

The wedding was, well it was very Zayn and Nick. It was them and they were so happy and Harry made vomit faces at Zayn every time he caught Zayn looking at Nick with that fond expression he got whenever Nick rambled. Several times, Zayn caught Harry’s face and flicked him off as discretely as possible but Harry hoped that the photographer caught at least one of them on film. 

“Harry.” Evelyn said, reaching across the small distance between them and digging her fingers into Harry’s bicep to get his attention, “Harry.” She repeated, her voice a bit more urgent this time. 

Harry turned back from where he was talking to another friend and his eyes immediately filled with concern, “Baby. What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Harry’s left hand immediately went to Evelyn’s stomach and his eyes went wide. “What’s wrong? Your stomach is really hard. Are you okay?” 

Evelyn bit down on her lip and shook her head, silent for a moment before she let a breath escape her lips, “I. That’s. I think that’s a contraction.” Evelyn said, stepping in a bit closer to Harry for support. 

Harry’s fingers moved a little as he felt Evelyn’s stomach relax just slightly and it softened again and, “Oh. Can you talk through them? How often?” Harry asked, moving his hand around her stomach as he flipped his right hand to check the time, to see how long it was until the next one. 

“They weren’t so bad, but now, I.” Evelyn said, swallowing and shifting her weight from one foot to the other, “I really just need to use the restroom. Could you come with me? Not inside? Just there.” She said and Harry nodded easily, walking her to the bathroom and not moving his hand from her stomach even once. 

Harry was pacing outside of the bathroom, waiting for Evelyn. He had propped the door open and asked her to let him know if another contraction hit so they could begin to get an idea of how far apart they were. His hands were shaking next to his side because this was it, his wife was going to have their baby. 

“Harry.” Evelyn’s voice was muffled behind the stall door, “I think I’m done.” She said and just a few moments later she emerged from the stall and Harry watched through the small space where the door was open as his wife shifted awkwardly from side to side. 

“Have you had another?” Harry asked through the crack in the door and just then Evelyn gasped and her right hand went to her back and Harry pushed through the door, placing his hand over hers to support her and checking his watch: 8 minutes. “Oh. Baby. You’re doing so good. Try to take a breath, for me okay.” Harry coached, just like he’d learned in the classes as he waited for her contraction to pass. 

“I think my water broke.” Evelyn said, her cheeks red and her eyes pricking with tears from the pain of the contractions, “I mean, I had to use the restroom but then it just kept coming. And it’s not like a massive gush like in the movies. It’s just, trickling. I think that’s what it is, though.” She looked up at Harry, letting out a breath and licking her lips softly. 

“We need to get you to the hospital.” Harry said softly, fishing his phone from his pocket to and two texts, one to the car that would be taking them and a second to their doctor to let her know they were on the way to the hospital. 

“You two okay?” Zayn asked, his head peeking through the door of the women’s restroom before he stepped inside, watching them. 

“We think Ev might be in labor.” Harry said, a grin on his lips as he turned back to Zayn. “So I hope you don’t mind if we leave before the cake.” He turned his attention back to Evelyn for a moment before looking over at Zayn. 

“Oh my god, did you call your car? I’ll get Nick so we can say congratulations, hold on!” Zayn said excited, stepping out of the women’s bathroom for long enough to hook his hand around Nick’s bicep, pulling him inside of the room. “She’s having the baby!” Zayn said, looking up at Nick. 

“Right now?” Nick’s eyes went wide and he looked from Zayn to Harry to Evelyn and then his jaw dropped slightly. “I think you might want to sit down like I don’t think you’re supposed to have a baby from standing up. Are you okay? Why are you both just standing there, this is like an actual emergency!” Nick’s voice was frantic and he was waving his hands around just as frantically. 

“You fuckin’ idiot,” Zayn said, reaching up and curling his hand around Nick’s wrist and pulling it back down by his side, “The baby isn’t going to just like fall out right here on the floor, but they’re leaving for the hospital now.” Zayn’s laugh was warm, open and happy and he looked up at Nick who looked as if he finally realised that his reaction was a bit over the top. 

“Oh right.” Nick said, biting down on his lip and stepping forward to wrap Evelyn into a hug, as much as he could with her stomach there, “Thank you guys so much for coming. I’m so excited and we will come by and see the baby as soon as we get back from the honeymoon.” 

Evelyn smiled, hugging Nick back and making him promise they would come visit before moving to hug Zayn. Nick wrapped Harry in a hug and Harry said he would text with update before he moved over to Zayn who wrapped Harry into a huge bear hug and made him promise that he would call if he needed anything at all. Harry was blessed not only to have such an amazing wife, but to have amazing friends as well. 

Harry was a wreck once they got settled in the hospital, several monitors wrapped around Evelyn’s mid-section to give the doctors and nurses updates on where the baby was and, “Haz, please. I’m okay. I promise.” Evelyn said softly, her small hand reaching across the space to squeeze her fingers around Harry’s hand. 

Harry stopped, sitting down and turning his hand to link his fingers with his wife’s hand, “Sorry.” He said sheepishly, scooting his chair closer to the bed she was in so that he could lay his head on her shoulder. 

When Harry was jolted away it was to a room full of nurses and his Evelyn still asleep. “What’s wrong?” Harry said groggily, his hand dropping to run through his wife’s hair gently. 

The epidural had dropped the baby’s heart rate and the nurses were currently working on shifting Evelyn to help the baby’s heart rate. Harry had leaned down and kissed Evelyn awake telling her that their baby was being a bit lazy and they just needed to move her to wake the baby up. 

Evelyn had blinked awake, kissed Harry back and promised him everything was going to be okay. 

It was only an hour later when their doctor entered the room and with a few frantic glances over the monitor, his voice was solemn as he spoke, “We’re going to have to take you in for an emergency c-section. The baby’s heart is dropping and we can’t get it to come back up.” 

For the words he was saying, Harry thought the doctor should have been crying or, well, “I can come right?” Harry asked immediately, “In the classes they said I could go.” 

“There’s not time,” The doctor said, “we need to go now,” his voice had been firm as he spoke and he had reached out and grasped Harry’s shoulder softly, “We will let you know as soon as we are out.” 

And that was that, with a signature on one paper, Harry’s wife was wheeled out of the room and he was lead to a waiting room just outside of the operating room area where there was nothing he could do but wait. He had sent off a few texts, one to his mum, Evelyn’s mum and to Zayn to let them know what was going on and promising he would text with more updates. 

Harry sat nervously on the edge of his seat, waiting for someone to come for him, someone to tell him it was time to go back and see Evelyn and meet his child and when he saw the doctor who had taken Evelyn back he was on his feet in no time, taking steps towards the doctor. 

“Harry,” the doctor had spoken and Harry knew right then that something was wrong, “You’ve got a beautiful healthy baby girl. They’ve taken her to nursery for some tests.” 

Harry’s eyebrows had furrowed as he interrupted the doctor, “But why are you all--” 

“Harry,” the doctor had said, reaching forward and grasping his fingers around Harry’s bicep, “We did everything that we could.” He said carefully, his eyes locked on Harry. 

“Where’s Evelyn?” Harry said frantically, but he knew, he knew right that moment that his life was changed. 

“Harry, there wasn’t anything else we could do. I’m so sorry.” The doctor’s voice sounded like a whisper, like something that was in a far away dream, something that wasn’t really happening. “Is there someone we can call?” He asked cautiously, his eyes wide and still on Harry. 

Harry shook his head, taking a deep breath and wrapping his arms around himself before turning to walk away from the doctor. He needed something - he needed air - he needed something to turn this evening back an hour and make everything better again. 

Just as the sliding glass doors opened and Harry took in a gasp of air, he looked up and Zayn and Nick were right in front of him. Harry could tell by their slightly disheveled looks that they’d probably been messing around in the back seat of the car and he wasn’t sure why that was the first thought he realised. Why that mattered, but it made a breath catch in his throat and he turned quickly to get past Zayn, to fill his lungs with the chilled air outside. 

“Harry? Harry.” Zayn said quickly and his hands were off of Nick in less than a second as he turned to follow Harry. “Are you okay?” 

Harry sucked in a sharp breath, and god, that was the last question that he wanted Zayn - or anyone - to ask him. It was that question that made everyone break down when someone asked it because no, of course, of course you’re not okay. How do you tell someone your wife is dead? How do you tell them that the woman they just exchanged conversation with hours before is gone? Harry opened his mouth to speak and the only thing that came out was a soft squeak, his body and brain’s way of trying to come together to say something, to say anything.  
“Popstar? What’s wrong?” Nick was at Harry’s other side and Harry knew that the pair was exchanging worrying glances around him, “What’s happened?” 

“Nick, don’t push,” Zayn’s voice was soft, but it was still a bit of a chiding in Nick’s direction. One of his hands came up to touch Harry’s back, just between his shoulder blades gently, his fingers curling at Harry’s shirt. 

“It’s just that they said it was normal, they do that all the time. There was something wrong.” Harry started and his thoughts were all over the place, he didn’t know how to put the words together, “They said there wasn’t anything they could do for her.” The words felt like a hot knife shoving through Harry and the simple thought of how many times he would have to say that over the course of the next few months made he want to vomit. 

Nick opened his mouth but was quickly shushed by Zayn, who mouthed his own ‘give him a minute’ to Nick and Nick nodded, shutting his mouth quickly and turning his focus back to Harry. 

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to raise a baby on my own. We don’t even have a name picked out. I haven’t even seen her.” Harry said, stopping in his tracks and bringing his hands up to press at his eyes. “I haven’t even seen her. Evelyn would have killed me,” Harry muttered, a choked, miserable laugh leaving his lips, not because it was funny, but because it was the worst thing that had ever happened to him. 

“Oh, Harry.” Zayn said, stepping closer to him, Nick following suit, “I’m so sorry. I’m here, okay? We are here. Anything you need.” Zayn’s words were soft and while Harry heard them, they really didn’t mean anything to him, not right now. 

“I’m so sorry, Haz.” Nick echoed, but his expression was slightly lost, a bit bewildered and it was no secret that he had no idea what to say to Harry. Really though, Harry wasn’t sure there was anything you could say to a person at a time like this but, “I’ll go call your mum. I’ll ask her to get here as soon as she can.” Nick said with a nod before breaking away from them and yes, there was one thing, Harry thought, that you could say to a person at a time like this and Nick had sorted out exactly what it was. 

“Let’s get you back inside so we can see that little girl of yours, huh?” Zayn asked cautiously, and when Harry glanced over at him he slipped an arm around Harry’s waist to lead him back inside. 

“Yeah, I,” Harry said softly, swallowing around what felt like a lump of vomit in his throat, “I keep hoping this is some sort of sick joke. That she’s really fine and it’s just happened.” Harry’s entire heart and mind was conflicted. How could things be so awful on a day that was meant to be the best day of his life? How was he supposed to celebrate the birth of his daughter and mourn the death of his wife all in one day? “I need to see Evelyn too.” Harry muttered out quietly and if Zayn noticed that he was shaking, he didn’t mention it. 

“Whichever you think you need to do first,” Zayn said softly and he didn’t hesitate to slip his hand down and take Harry’s hand into his, their fingers linking together gently and his hand squeezing Harry’s hand softly. “Nick will find us I’m sure,” Zayn said, looking back towards the sliding glass doors and knowing that Nick would be behind them just as soon as he had spoken to Anne. 

“I need to see Evelyn first, I need to say goodbye. To tell her thank you.” Harry said quietly and just like that he detangled his hand from Zayn’s and stepped forward to the nurses station. He knew the faces of the nurses softened as he explained what happened and one of them, an older woman, stepped around the counter and told Harry should would take him right where here needed to go. 

“Does this happen a lot?” Harry asked quietly, his eyes trained on the nurse as he walked next to her. The doctor said it hadn’t, but maybe he was just saying that. 

“It’s very uncommon. Especially in someone,” The nurse paused, her badge said Debbie, before she looked up at Harry, “I imagine she was similar in age to you. There wasn’t anything you could have done. There was no way for you to know.” She explained, moving one of her hands to pat Harry’s back gently. 

Harry let out a soft breath, one he was certain he had been holding for the last - how long had it been since his wife died? - and nodded at Debbie. “I feel like I did something wrong, like I’ve let her down in some way.” Harry murmured and maybe Debbie just had that nan effect, she made Harry feel like he could just talk to her. 

“Oh, no, love. I know this is an incredibly impossible time for you but there wasn’t anything you could have done.” Debbie said, turning a corner and pressing a button for the lift. “And I reckon if she were still with us, she would want you to take care of that sweet little baby.” She said with a smile, stepping back to lean against the wall of the lift once the door opened. 

Harry knew that she was right, he knew that Evelyn’s lips would have twisted up into a slight smile and she would have spoken softly, the way she always did when she was trying to encourage Harry. She would have told him to love their little girl, that she was okay and that he would be too. “Evie,” Harry said, his voice just barely a whisper as he looked up, looking from Debbie and then to Zayn. 

“Huh?” Zayn said, his head tipping to the side, as he turned to look at Harry, his fingers moving up to loosen his tie the rest of the way. 

“When I first met Evelyn,” Harry said softly, “She said if she ever had a daughter she wanted to name her Evie.” The memory brought a painful smile to Harry’s face. “She said people would think she was conceited for naming her daughter something that sounded so similar to her own name.” Harry reached up and pushed his fingers through his hair, leaning back against the wall of the lift and taking in a deep breath.  
“I think Evie is a beautiful name,” Zayn said softly, stepping closer to Harry and nudging their shoulders together. “I think Evelyn would be so pleased that you remembered as well.” He said, nodding once before waiting as Debbie and Harry stepped off of the elevator first. 

When Harry stepped off of the lift the first person he saw was the doctor, the one who had told him that Evelyn was dead and his heart crushed a little bit further. It wasn’t his fault, Harry thought, but Harry needed somewhere to place all of his anger. 

“Harry,” The doctor said, making his way over to him and reaching up to place his hand on Harry’s shoulder gently, “I can take you to see Evelyn if you’d like. Your daughter is just down the hall in the nursery. The nurses are taking the best care of her.” 

Harry nodded, swallowing hard before speaking, his voice was only just a whisper, “I’d like to see Evelyn please.” When the doctor immediately started moving, Harry followed after him. 

Saying goodbye to the love of his life was one of the hardest things, actually, it was the hardest thing Harry ever had to do and following it up with meeting the newest little love of his life while heartbreaking, Harry thought, it was the only thing that would get him through this. 

Harry sat down in a rocking chair in the nursery, after standing over the cot Evie was in and he waited, one of the nurses was going to bring her over and Harry thought that was just as well, because at the moment, he felt a little weak on his feet. 

“Here you go, she’s so so beautiful.” The nurse said as she placed Evie into Harry’s arms and gave him a warm smile. 

“Oh, she’s,” Harry paused, situating his arms under her tiny little body and watching the way her hands were curled up next to her cheeks, “She’s gorgeous.” He whispered softly, twisting his hand so that he could brush his fingertip over Evie’e knuckles. “Daddy’s here now baby girl, I love you so much,” Harry said gently, ducking down to press a soft kiss to the top of her head. 

The hospital had checked Harry into a room so that he could stay with Evie and that’s how he ended up with his socked feet stretched over the end of a hospital bed and his laptop sitting in his lap. When he and Evelyn had talked about keeping a journal to their child, Harry had insisted on a journal - a leather bound one that he had already purchased - but Evelyn said that was too old fashioned, that they should just make her an email address. Harry thought it was a bit crazy, but she promised that gmail would still be around when their child was older and they could just pass off the login information. 

When Harry clicked to confirm the email address he had just made for little Evie, he let a small sigh leave his lips, he felt like he needed to honour as much about Evelyn as he could. Even if it was the smallest things. Reaching over to take a drink of water, Harry sat the bottle down and began typing, the first of what he thought would be many, emails to his daughter.

_From: Harry Styles_  
To: Evie Styles  
Subject: Happy Birthday 

_Little Miss Evie,_

_Hi, baby. It’s your daddy. This note is so hard for me to write and if your mummy was here she would be so eloquent about what to say to you. You are, hands down, the most beautiful, amazing thing to ever happen to me. The thought that you’ll never get to know your mummy weighs heavily on my heart, but I promise I will do everything and anything I can do teach you everything I can about her. You are so beautiful, all swaddled up in a little cot next to me and it’s all I can do not to wake you up just to give you kisses and tell you how much I love you. I promise that from today until forever I will be there for you and I will do everything I can for you. I’m so blessed that I get to be your daddy and I promise I won’t let you down. I promise you that you’re my world now, little Miss Evie. I have a lot to learn about being a daddy and I will try not to make too many mistakes with you. I know I will, here or there, I just hope that you can forgive me when I mess things up and know that I will only do things that I think are in your best interest. That’s what is most important to me. Seeing you happy and healthy and I must admit I feel a bit ridiculous writing this to you knowing you can’t read. Well, by the time you’re reading this you’ll be able to read, won’t you? I hope that, when you are sitting here reading this you get a fond smile and roll your eyes about how much of a loser I probably am. I am so happy that I get to be your father and I will be here for you always._

_And for a joke: What did one flag say to the other?_

_Nothing, it waved._

_All the love,_

_Daddy_

Three months in, and Harry thought he wasn’t doing a bad job. There were days that he missed Evelyn more than others and there were friends that insisted that Harry needed to ‘move on,’ but Harry couldn’t imagine that, not just yet and maybe not ever. Evie was a happy baby, she was working on rolling over and giving Harry the heart attack every time she got near the edge of anything. Babyproofing had proved to be a task for Harry and every day he looked around his house he saw something else that could hurt Evie, maybe it was a never ending task, he thought. 

“Evie, darling, I hate to wake you from your little nap but Uncle Zayn will be here any moment and we are going to the doctor for your check up.” Harry said, his voice a sing song as he leant down over the edge of the cot to pick his daughter up. She was still peacefully asleep and Harry snuggled her close to his chest, taking in a deep breath and pressing soft kisses to the top of her head. 

It would be a lie if Harry didn’t say there were nights he held Evie all night, loving the way she curled up on his chest and watching the way her back rose and fell with each one of her breaths. Harry thought maybe that was pretty normal, babies were only small for so long and he thought you should enjoy every moment of it. Evie was an incredibly easy baby and that was probably a blessing, probably someone looking after Harry - it was probably Evelyn looking after him and knowing there wasn’t much else that he could handle at the time. 

“Hazza?” Zayn’s voice called, the sound of the door shutting pulling Harry from his thoughts and getting him focused on laying Evie down on her changing table to get her ready for her appointment. 

“Sorry, we are just,” Harry called back, letting out a soft laugh, “Evie was just sleeping in. Seems she takes after her uncle more and more every day.” Harry went about changing his daughter and putting her in an outfit, only pausing to look over his shoulder when he saw Zayn enter the nursery. 

Harry had put a lot on Zayn and Nick he thought and their first few months of marriage had been more taking care of Harry than enjoying each other but every time Harry suggested he was fine and didn’t need their constant checkups, they both rolled their eyes and told him it wasn’t an issue. 

“Well I always knew she was a smart girl, she’s just proving me right.” Zayn said with a smirk, leaning down to press a kiss to Evie’s forehead before giving Harry’s cheek a soft kiss. “How are you this morning?” 

“I’m alright, yeah. It’s just a check up, you don’t have to go along with me.” Harry said softly, but his voice was still a bit defiant. He was determined to make sure that everyone knew that he was okay, that he was getting along just fine. 

“Course you don’t but Nick works all day and I’m bored,” Zayn said exasperatedly, “So if you could just put up with me for the morning and maybe for lunch I’ll get along just fine on my own after that.” 

Harry raised his eyebrow, giving Zayn a bit of a glare before shrugging softly, “Yeah, I bet that’s why you’re here. She has jabs anyway, so I’ll just let you hold her for the jabs so that she will dislike you instead of me. I think that sounds like a rather good plan.” Harry grinned, sitting Evie up on her changing table before picking her up and pulling her close, “Isn’t that right baby girl? We will make Uncle Zayn the villain won’t we.” 

“Uncle Zayn brought you presents, baby girl, don’t you forget that.” Zayn countered, giving Harry a glare of his own and there was some comfort in the familiar banter that they had found again. Some comfort in the fact that maybe Harry would be okay. 

“That’s cheating,” Harry said, but his expression was relaxed and he headed down the stairs with Zayn to take Evie to the doctor. Harry thought jabs were the worst things ever and he hated the way her little face scrunched up and the subsequent wail, the one that felt like it was shattering his heart into a thousand pieces. 

_From: Harry Styles_  
To: Evie Styles  
Subject: Jabs - I’m so sorry! 

_Little Miss Evie,_

_Today you had to have your three month jabs. I’m so sorry. The doctor has promised me that you won’t remember them so if you do, let me know and we will go take care of them. It’s one of those things you think won’t be so bad until you have a child of your own and then, it’s just, well, it’s really awful. Because it’s something you’ve got to do and even if you know it hurts you can’t protect them from it. I wonder often if you’ll have kids of your own, which I know is a weird thing to wonder when you’re only a few months old. I wonder a lot what your future will be like, what your favourite things will be, if you’ll love eating vegetables or hate them. You and I spend a lot of quiet nights together, you sleeping and me talking to you about what I think your life will be like. So far I can tell that you are, by far, one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen in my life. You’ve got your mum’s eyes, my hair, I think and a smile that lights up the entire room (even if most the time you only smile because you’re pooping). I’m so glad that I have you in my life and that I get to spend all of my time with you. I was so blessed to have the success I did early in life that has allowed me to stay home with you, to watch you grow, to always be there to hold you when you cry. It’s something I’ll never be able to properly thank the people who gave it to me for, but hopefully, they’ll know._

_I want you to know how beautiful you are. How innocent and pure and beautiful you are and I want you to know that no one can take those things away from you. I don’t know how to keep you in a bubble so that in your entire life you’ll never cross the path of someone who will doubt your confidence, who will make you feel insecure in yourself, who will make you feel like you’re less than what you really are - I don’t know how to do that just yet but I’m working on it daily. People can be kind of bad sometimes, they can do things without thinking and they can hurt you. Sometimes, if you’re like me, that hurt will stick around and in so many ways, I hope you’re not like me in that sense. I want to be able to always make you feel better, always make you realise that you are the most amazing little girl on this planet and there may not be a way to do that. Just please remember, that sometimes your heart will heart, but you can always come back from it. People always told me when your mum was pregnant that being a parent was scary and that I wouldn’t truly understand until I was a parent and I can say now that they were completely right. It’s so scary to know that one day I’ll have to let you go out into this great big world on your own. That one day I won’t be able to protect you and that’s how I’ve gotten to my bubble conclusion. I just want to protect you from this world and everything in it. You are such a beautiful little girl with an already blossoming personality, I can’t wait to see where you go from here._

_And just to keep it consistent, here’s a joke:_

_What did one eye say to the other?_

_Between you and I, something smells._

_All the Love,_

_Daddy_

A one year old. Harry lifted Evie, pulling her back close to him and giving her a kiss before lifting her in the air again and grinning when she squealed. “Happy Birthday my little princess!” Harry said happily, pulling her close again and wrapping his arms around her with a gentle squeeze before settling her on his hip to carry her down the stairs. 

Harry wondered for a brief moment what it would be like if Evelyn was there, how the party would be different, he imagined there would be more small children there because she would be adamant that Evie had friends, but Harry snapped himself from the thought quickly. Today was his daughter’s birthday and he wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of that. 

The party was quiet, just a few of Harry’s closest friends and family and everything was Peppa the Pig. The cupcakes were decorated to look like Peppa and Gemma and Anne had decorated and it was perfect. Evie’s hair was pulled back into two tiny pigtails, and her black dress had a massive pink bow on it. Harry had managed to put her in tights and a pair of shoes, but the first second he left her alone her shoes were gone. 

“I swear I could gaffa tape those to her feet and she would have them off in an instant.” Harry said softly, shaking his head and looking over at Zayn who was wiping a bit of icing from Nick’s nose. 

“I seem to remember someone else who never kept her shoes on,” Zayn said with a soft smile, reaching over with his clean hand to rub Harry’s shoulder gently. “Do you remember when we were at that stupid Greek restaurant that Nick loves and she lost one of her shoes under the table?” Zayn’s eyes were focused on Harry, studying him like he was waiting for the other male to break. 

Harry couldn’t help the fond smile that spread over his lips, “You mean when I had to climb under the table to get it back? And Nick dropped yoghurt in my hair?” Harry’s lips parted and a soft laugh left him and he thought that that, right then, might have been the first time he had laughed about something dealing with Evelyn since it had happened. “I was so mad,” Harry said, bringing his hand up to cover his mouth and silence his laughter. 

“You looked like a proper idiot mate,” Zayn said, just then dropping his hand from Harry’s shoulder and shaking his head a bit. “It was a good time. I miss her, you know. We both do.” Zayn said thoughtfully, his head tipping to the side as he spoke. 

“I do too,” Harry said softly, leaning down when Evie reached up for him to pick her up and pull her onto his hips, “I miss her so much but it helps so much having this little princess here. She makes it all better, don’t you princess?” Harry said, adjusting his voice up slightly as he started talking to Evie and he ducked in to give a soft kiss. 

The rest of the afternoon was filled with presents, cake and catching up with those that the party and when Harry put Evie to bed for the first time as a one year old, his heart was incredibly full, his heart was bubbling over with love and warmth. 

Everyone who had been through something similar to Harry had told him that in time, in time he would begin to get past what happened. He wouldn’t ever get over it, but he would come to terms with it and as he watched Evie’s chest lightly rise and fall as she slept, he thought for the first time, that maybe, he would get past this.

_From: Harry Styles_  
To: Evie Styles  
Subject: Happy Birthday 

_Little Miss Evie,_

_Today you are ONE! I am so excited for your first birthday and we have got the cutest Peppa the Pig cupcakes for you! I’m not sure that you really like Peppa the Pig because you’re only one and you don’t really say much (or at all?) but you always smile when you see her. Plus she’s pink and I’m almost positive you’re fond of pink. You also look really adorable in pink and well anyway. We are just having a small party, some friends and family and of course, you! I’m so excited to celebrate your birthday with you, I’m so excited for you to open your presents and I’m, well, I’m just really excited about all of this. People have always told me that being a parent would be the best experience of my life and while I was so nervous heading into this, I agree with them now. I am so lucky to have you. You’ve helped me grow up and mature in a way I didn’t even know I needed to until you came into my life. You’ve expanded my understanding of love and understanding further than I thought was imaginable. You’ve taught me that even when I feel like giving up, I should keep trying. You’ve taught me that it’s okay to be scared. That it’s okay to feel like I’m falling apart sometimes as long as I get back up again from it. It’s amazing all of the lessons you’ve taught me in this year, but I guess we have been through alot together, haven’t we? Probably more than some people go through in their entire lives, really. I’m so glad I’ve gotten to know you this last year and I’m so glad that you’re my daughter. You may only be one, but I am so proud of you because you are so brilliant. You make me smile daily and you are hands down, the smartest, brightest, sweetest, most beautiful little girl I’ve ever met in my entire life. I can’t wait to spend today with you and hopefully show you just how much everyone loves you. Love you to the moon and back, little one._

_And for a joke:_

_What is smarter than a talking bird?_

_A spelling bee._

_All the love,_

_Daddy_

One Year Later...

“Mum, I just think something is off with her,” Harry said, Evie on his hip and his phone pinned between his ear and his shoulder as he paced through his kitchen. “She’s got these two bruises on her arms and it’s like she’s just miserable all the time. I know she had the flu for a few days but that was two weeks ago.” 

“Harry,” Anne said, her voice soft, “If you think there’s something wrong you should get her an appointment. Doctors can fuss with you over worrying about your child. That’s your job as her parent. Do you want me to come down and go with you?” 

“No, Nick will probably go or Zayn. Or I can just go by myself. I think I’ll be okay, really.” Harry said softly, reaching up with his free hand to push his hair out of his face before placing his hand on Evie’s side. “Do you think it’s insane that I just think there’s something wrong? Something feels not right. I know a doctor can’t make a diagnosis on that, but…” Harry’s voice trailed off as he let a soft breath out. 

“I think that as a parent you know when something is wrong with your child. Please stop doubting your ability, Harry. You are an amazing father to Evie and if you think there is something wrong with her, well.” Anne stopped and Harry knew it was because she didn’t want to say the obvious. She didn’t want to say that if he thought there was something wrong, chances are, there was. 

Harry sighed softly, telling his mum he would call her back and that he loved her before hanging up with her. “Miss Evie, I sure hope you’re alright but you’ve really got daddy worried something fierce.” Harry said to the little girl who looked up at him with a bit of determination in her eyes before he leaned to kiss the top of her head softly. 

Three days later, Harry had taken Evie to see the doctor and while the doctor said it might not be anything serious, he wanted to get some bloodwork done just to be sure. If Harry thought jabs were bad, having to hold Evie down while they attempted to get her blood was no comparison. He actually felt like he was harming her and by the time they were done he wasn’t sure if he had cried more or she had. 

One week following the appointment, Harry and Evie were back on the way to the doctor with Nick in tow. “It’s just that when they want to see you back, it means something is wrong. If everything was okay they’d just tell you over the phone.” Harry explained to Nick who was fighting with the pram in an attempt to get it open. 

“Maybe it is nothing and they just want to follow up.” Nick said, huffing loudly as he finally flicked the right button, opening the pram up. “Have you talked to Louis lately?” He asked, tipping his head to the side and shifting the pram forward so Harry could situate Evie in it. 

“No?” Harry asked an almost confused expression crossing his face as he looked over at Nick, “Why? Is he okay?” 

“He didn’t know about Evelyn. He called Zayn the other day to catch up and he said you’d never told him. What about Niall and Liam?” Nick had his curious face on, the one he often put on before he launched into a lecture about Harry isolating himself too much. 

“No, I mean, I’ve just not really spoken to them and I wasn’t going to call just about that.” Harry said, swallowing hard around the lump that had formed in his throat. Of course he should have called his best mates about losing his wife, but for some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to speak about it any more than he had been forced to do on a day to day basis. 

Nick nodded, heading into the office with Harry and that was that. Nick knew Harry well enough to know that if Harry didn’t want to do something, he wouldn’t do it and there was really no sense in arguing the fact. 

“I’m not sure what I’m going to do if there’s something wrong with her. She’s only two years old and she’s already lost her mum. Doesn’t seem fair to have something else go wrong does it?” Harry asked quietly and in response Nick slid their hands together giving Harry’s hand a squeeze.  
As soon as the doctor stepped into the room, Harry knew the expression. It was similar to albeit not as grim as the one the doctor had on his face when he told Harry that Evelyn was gone. “No. No.” Harry said softly, pulling Evelyn closer to him and glancing at the door as if he were going to get up and bolt out of the room. 

“Haz, it’s okay.” Nick said, pressing against the side and looking over at the doctor, his look relaying some sort of secret message to please tell Harry that it was going to be okay. 

Pulling the stool over, the doctor took a seat in front of Harry and placed his folder on his lap before speaking, “First of all, you did absolutely the right thing by bringing Evie in to see us. What I’ve got to tell you isn’t easy to say, but let me preface it by letting you know that the rate of recovery is extremely promising.” 

Recovery. The word echoed in Harry’s head, recovery. That meant something was wrong. Reaching up to pull Evie’s hand from her hair, he shushed her babbles and turned his focus back to the doctor. “What do you mean recovery? What is wrong with her?” 

As if on cue, Nick reached to take Evie. “Come on Evie, why don’t you and Uncle Nick sit right over here. I’ll let you play a game on my phone.” While Evie playing on anyone’s phone meant more of her shoving the phone in her mouth and then throwing it to the ground with glee, the distraction was welcome. 

“Evie’s bloodwork was a bit worrisome.” The doctor started and then he sighed, flattening his hands against his folder, “Evie has leukemia. There are a few more tests that we have to do, but from what we could tell off of the panels, the type that she has is very treatable.” 

Harry glanced from the doctor to Nick and Evie and back to the doctor and his jaw was dropped just slightly. “Are you?” Harry said, swallowing hard to clear his throat before continuing to speak, “Are you actually being serious? This has to be a joke.” Harry brought his hand up to cover his mouth before he let out a slow breath. 

“I wish this wasn’t real, Harry.” The doctor said gently, reaching forward to place his hand on Harry’s knee in an encouraging way. “We’ve got to look at this as positively as we can. We’ve found it so early and there’s an extremely high rate of remission with type of cancer.” 

Nick’s arms tightened around Evie as he listened to the doctor, his focus falling on Harry, watching the way he was reacting and pressing a soft kiss to the top of Evie’s head. 

“What do we do now? What happens?” Harry asked, biting down on his bottom lip and leaning to the side just slightly so he could rub his hand gently over Evie’s arm, “I love you so much baby girl,” Harry said softly, biting down on his lip before turning his focus back to the doctor. 

“You’ll have to meet with the oncologist who will do a few more tests and then give you a course of treatment. Typically when treating this type of leukemia in a child there are three steps of treatment,” The doctor paused, opening the folder to show some paperwork to Harry, “Induction, Consolidation and Maintenance. The first two are the most grueling and often with the induction treatment she will end up in the hospital for the whole treatment. It’s typically around a month long. The good news is, after this treatment typically nearly all children go into remission. Continuing after that is the Consolidation treatment which is a couple of months long. Most children aren’t in the hospital for this part, but they will often suffer a lot of fatigue and irritability. After that is maintenance, which is just as it seems, for several years Evie will undergo treatments to ensure that the cancer doesn’t return.” 

Harry nodded as he listened, not even sure what to say in response and when he finally did speak the words that came out seemed so irrelevant, so unimportant, “She’s going to be in the hospital for Christmas?” Harry swallowed back the familiar lump in his throat and reached up to rub his hands over his eyes gently. 

“That’s a conversation you’ll have to have with the oncologist. With the intensity of the treatment it’s often beneficial for the patient to stay admitted as it will avoid them catching anything and compromising their immune system anymore.” The doctor said and he was closing the folder, preparing to hand it to Harry. “If there’s anything I can do please let me know. I will be working closely with Evie’s oncologist to be sure that we are doing everything that we can for her.” 

“Is the contact information for the oncologist in here?” Harry asked, his fingers curling around the edges of the folder and his focus falling on the doctor. 

“It is and we have already contacted him to let him know when your appointment was here. You should be hearing from their office within the next day or so.” The doctor’s voice was still soft but he was up from his stool and stopping in front of Nick to lean down and press a kiss to the top of Evie’s head, “We will do everything we can to help her, Harry,” he said with a nod before turning to leave the room. 

Harry let out a slow breath when the door clicked shut and he felt like his entire world was collapsing around him. “She just can’t catch a break, Nick. I love her so much and she’s so little. She’s been through more than most people and now this and I’m not sure how I’m supposed to protect her from this.” Harry said and when his eyes filled with tears he reached up and pressed his fingers against his eyes to keep them from escaping. 

Nick gave Harry a frown, his arms still tight around Evie and he shrugged in Harry’s direction, “I don’t think you can protect her. You just have to love her and take care of her the best you know how. That’s all you can do, really, isn’t it?” Nick asked, getting up from where he was sitting and making his way over to Harry to hand Evie to him before retrieving the pram from the corner of the room so they could leave. 

The next two and a half weeks were a flurry of appointments, tests and calls from doctors. Harry wasn’t sure which end was up, but he was sure that he was spending every moment that he possibly could with Evie and if he had woken her up a few times in the middle of the night just to see her eyes, that was just between the two of them. 

_From: Harry Styles_  
To: Evie Styles  
Subject: Oh Darling 

_Little Miss Evie,_

_It seems I end up sitting here writing things to you that are often impossibly hard to write. A few weeks ago you had a touch of what I thought was the flu. I did all the things doctors said to do and while you got better, you never really were the same again. It was like someone had taken your sunshine away. After worrying over you, I decided to have you back to the doctor. I knew after the tests, when the doctor came to the room. I knew it wasn’t good news. It’s one of those things you learn over time, to tell when someone’s going to tell you bad news. I had prepared myself for something bad, but there wasn’t anything that could have prepared me for this. Leukemia. It’s a scary word even just looking at it. I’m so nervous about this, I’m so nervous about all the treatments you’re going to have to go through and I’m so scared. I don’t want to lose you. You are so important to me and I love you so much and I will do absolutely everything I can to keep you safe. You are my entire world and this is such a scary journey we are about to start on but I will be here and I will try to make you feel better and I’ll try to make you happy and I’ll always try to take care of you. Just, please, please don’t leave me. I know it’s not up to you, I know it’s not. It’s just so scary. Maybe I shouldn’t even be writing this to you. I’m sorry. I’m just so scared. You’re so important. You’re my whole world and I don’t know where I would be if I lost you. Ev, you are, right after your mummy, the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I love you with all my heart. We are going to get through this, together. We can do this._

_All the love,_

_Daddy_

Christmas. Christmas had always been of Harry’s favourite times of year. He and Evelyn would go and purchase a tree and decorate it, Christmas music playing lightly in the background and steam spilling off their cups of hot cocoa but this year felt like something different. While Harry and Evie had come up with a few traditions of their own, this year was slated to be spent in the hospital. ‘No real trees’ in here, the doctors had said, they were worried about any possible allergies compromising her immune system and while it made Harry a bit sad, he agreed with them. In the corner of the hospital room stood a small pink tree. It was decorated with some of their ornaments from home and had pink lights on it and while it wasn’t much, it was their home for the holiday. 

“I can’t believe Christmas is in two days Evie! What do you think?” Harry asked, sitting at the edge of the hospital bed where his daughter was currently curled up, somewhere between asleep and awake. 

“Daddy,” Evie’s small voice croaked, “Santa!” She replied happily and Harry was amazed at her resilience. She had two treatments so far, and while the initial reaction was a lot of sickness, she had her good days. She had her days where she smiled and laughed and Harry lived for those moments. 

“Santa will come here and put everything under your tree,” Harry explained taking a seat at the edge of the bed and pushing his fingers through his daughter’s hair. ‘Expect her to lose it,’ they had said, but Harry hadn’t expect the way a few bits of hair came out when he ran his fingers through it and he immediately felt guilty. 

“Puppy!” Evie squealed, turning back to look up at Harry and her lips were pushed into the absolutely cutest pout, one that shattered Harry’s heart into a thousand pieces. 

“Of course, baby. You and daddy will get a puppy once we go back to our house. We can go and I’ll let you pick the puppy and everything,” Harry said hopefully and he really wasn’t sure that Evie understood him, but he had remembered reading some article that said talking to your child like they understood you made them smarter and Harry figured he would give her every advantage he could. 

They were set for another sleepless night, Evie couldn’t manage to get comfortable and it seemed that every time she did there was something that disturbed her. Whether it was a nurse, a noise of the hospital or just a slight night terror that had jolted Evie awake, Harry was hoping for a bit of silence to let his daughter rest. 

As soon as she was peacefully asleep, Harry was tapping away at the keys of his phone, having not left the hospital since they checked in, Harry had most of the Christmas shopping done, but it was all hidden in his closet and none of it was wrapped. He was determined to keep things as normal as possible, while they couldn’t partake in their normal traditions their whole lives were filled with new normals and Christmas would be just the same. 

Once he had confirmation that all of her presents would be arriving on Christmas Eve, Harry slipped into the hard hospital bed next to Evie and grinned when she crawled over and stretched out over him to sleep, his hands coming up to support her from falling as his own head fell back and he fell asleep, rubbing against her back gently. 

The day before Christmas Eve was a treatment day and it was a particularly rough one. Evie was so sick and Harry was so exhausted that when his mum had arrived to look after her, instead of going home he had ended up in the shower in the room, sitting on the floor and sobbing. Harry hated feeling like there was nothing he could do for his daughter, he hated that he couldn’t see the constant smile on her face, he hated that he didn’t know what the outcome would be. He just kept thinking of the chances the doctor gave him -- and what kind of person was he? Hoping that someone else’s child would be on the grim side of the statistics so that his own child could be on the more encouraging side of the statistic? The thought brought harder sobs to Harry’s chest and before he knew it the water was going cold but his breath still wasn’t in his chest. Closing his eyes, Harry wrapped his arms tightly around his legs and focused on his breaths, calming himself down until he could reach up and turn the shower off. Every other parent on the floor he had talked with had told him it was okay to break down, that they were all only human, but Harry truly disliked that part. He felt almost like he had no right - he wasn’t the one that was sick. 

Christmas Eve was a day that was mostly filled with cheer. There was a holiday program just down the hallway from Evie’s room and while she was tired he still climbed in Harry’s arms and insisted they go. Harry wished she was talking more, wished she was able to tell them exactly what hurt so he could better fix it, but he couldn’t change that at the moment so he settled Evie on his hip and made his way towards the hallway, her small hands digging into the knit of Harry’s jumper. 

By the time they had gotten back to the room and Evie had opened her Christmas Eve present - new pajamas which she said demanded be put on her immediately if her glares at Harry said anything. 

“You’ve had such a big day! We better you get you into bed so that you can get some sleep and so Santa can come.” Harry said, his voice shifting into a soft, almost sing songy voice as he spoke to his daughter. 

Evie nodded quickly and smiled up at Harry, her eyes shifting to look at their Christmas tree for a moment before she looked back at Harry. “Loves you.” Evie said softly, scrunching up her nose and leaning forward to brush it against Harry’s, a sweet giggle leaving her lips just after she had kissed him. 

Harry got Evie into her bed and he sat just at the edge, singing softly to her as her eyes closed, a small warm smiled taking over his lips as he watched his daughter fall asleep. It was early, Harry thought, just past 7:30, but in the last few days Harry had learned quickly that was Evie was tired he should put her to sleep. Their entire life was an adjustment but Harry was taking it one day at a time. 

Just as Harry stood up from the bed, there was a soft knock at the door and the door pushed open gently. “She just fell asleep Z,” Harry said softly, “Just be quiet.” Harry’s voice was soft, exhausted as he spoke, but he was glad to know that Zayn was there and that Christmas would be just fine. 

“Merry Christmas,” the voice said that was stepping inside the room and Harry’s entire body went rigid because he knew that voice. He would know that voice anywhere in the world and without even approving it his body moved to block the view of Evie from the door, he put himself between the person who was half in the room and half out. 

“Harry?” Louis’ voice sounded as shocked as Harry sounded and he dropped the bag he had been carrying over his shoulder, wincing at the sound it made when it hit the floor. “Harry?” Louis questioned again, but this time his voice was a bit more frantic. 

“Did Zayn call you? I don’t need you here.” Harry snapped defensively, crossing his arms over his chest and staring at Louis, who was, all but dressed like an elf. Spandex green pants paired with a similar top and a vest. His shaggy hair and Vans didn’t exactly look the part, but Harry got the message. 

“No? What? What is going on?” Louis asked and his voice raised an octave in the way it always did he was a bit panicked over something. 

“I don’t need you here,” Harry repeated and he swallowed hard, he swallowed back everything that had happened in the last few years, everything that had been going on because he didn’t need to do this now. He didn’t need to break down in front of Louis right now. He didn’t need to break down in front of Louis at all. There was a reason that Harry had distanced himself from Louis and this was it. Louis had always been one of Harry’s best friends, ever since they had met, but Harry couldn’t hold himself together when it came to Louis. Harry couldn’t bring himself to call Louis and tell him that Evelyn had passed away because he wouldn’t have been able to hold himself together. He hadn’t been able to tell Louis about Evie for the exact same reason. 

“Harry, what is going on? Why are you?” Louis’ voice was shaky, but he stepped closer to Harry, not daring to look around Harry towards the bed, his eyes focused solely on Harry. “I do this every year, I come to the hospital and visit the kids with can-” That must have been when it hit Louis because he stepped back like someone had shoved him and covered his hand with his mouth, his eyes still on Harry as he swallowed hard. 

“Don’t. Please, please don’t.” Harry’s voice was soft and he felt like his stomach was swelling up inside of his body, he felt like he couldn’t breathe and he knew that his eyes were filling with tears. He knew that they were and there wasn’t anything he could do to stop. 

“Harry, please,” Louis spoke carefully, his fingers dropping from his mouth as he looked at Harry. “Please, don’t push me away. Not right now.” 

“I can’t do this right now, Louis,” and if Harry’s voice cracked when he spoke, neither of them mentioned it. “I can’t do this right now. Please. Don’t. I can’t.” Against his own will, one of the tears that had filled Harry’s eyes fell down his cheek and it was like the feeling of wetness against his cheek forced all of the emotions he had been pushing down out, there was one tear and another and another. 

“Oh, Harry. No. Please don’t cry.” Louis’ voice went soft along with his whole demeanor and he surged forward to wrap his arms around Harry, pulling him into a tight hug and nuzzling his face against Harry’s shoulder. 

Harry was exhausted. He was beyond exhausted. He didn’t remember any decent sleep since Evie’s diagnosis and there was almost none since he had been in the hospital. There was a nap here or there, but every attempt of sleep came with fitful bouts and nightmares. Nightmares that were often filled with the sound of monitors crashing and doctors screaming and it was just easier for Harry to not sleep. It was easier for him to survive off of coffee. “Louis, don’t,” Harry said gently but his arms were going against him and wrapping around Louis anyway. “You don’t need to be here, there are other kids.” Harry tried, a breath catching in his chest and his eyes closing tightly.  
“Harry don’t be ridiculous. You’re my best friend. I know things have been off for a while, but you’re still my best friend. I don’t know why you think you’re not. Why you think I just don’t care what’s going on?” Louis asked and just at that moment he pushed up onto his toes slightly and saw Evie curled up in the bed. “Oh, Harry.” 

Harry took a step back from Louis and shook his head, focusing his attention on the door because Zayn should be there at anytime. He was late, honestly. He should be there. Harry let out a sigh and bit down on his bottom lip. “I just, it’s hard for me to tell you things because I fall apart like this. Evie can’t have me falling apart right now.” Harry admitted softly, reaching up and pushing his fingers against his eyes to attempt to dry the tears. 

“I heard about Evelyn, I’m sorry.” Louis said, and he dropped his hands down to rub over his spandex covered legs and watching him brought an almost dry chuckle to Harry’s lips. “Is there anything I can do? I mean, I wish you could have called me. I would have been here.” 

“It’s okay. I’m okay. We are okay. Well we are our new okay.” Harry corrected himself and he let out a shuddered breath as he watched Louis. “You really don’t have to stay here. Nick and Zayn are meant to be here anytime with her presents and she will probably be up in a little while.” 

“I’ve got presents too,” Louis said with a smile, stepping back towards the door to pick up the bag before returning and digging out two presents for Evie. “They give me the ages of all the kids so I can try and get things appropriate for them,” Louis said honestly, nodding towards the tags that had Evie’s room number on them. “I can come back, once I finish and change my clothes.” 

“Oh my god,” Harry said and his face looked shocked for a split second, “oh god, I’m so sorry. It’s your birthday.” Harry’s cheeks went red at the realisation and he tipped his head to the side, looking at Louis, “Happy Birthday then. I’m sure there’s something else you’re looking forward to getting back to, you don’t have to come and stay here.” Harry’s nod was quick and he hoped that he portrayed just how okay he was. 

“It’s what I do every Christmas Eve.” Louis reached up to brush his thumb over Harry’s cheek gently before letting a puff of air escape his lips. “It’s how I like to spend my birthday. These kids are some of the most amazing and it is really just a nice experience to get to be here with them. Please let me come back? You said Zayn was coming back.” 

It was as if on cue that the door pushed open, Zayn balancing three cups of coffee in his hands and Nick’s arms full of bags that had brightly wrapped presents inside of them. “Louis?” Zayn questioned, stopping dead in his tracks in just barely enough time for Nick to stop before they both ended up in a heap on the floor. “What are you doing here?” Zayn’s voice was curious but he moved to sit the coffee cups down before returning to Harry’s side. 

“I do this every year, it wasn’t planned. I thought I would come back a bit later and sit with Harry for a while if he’s okay with it.” Louis said, glancing over his shoulder at Nick who looked like he’d just carried all of the packages from Manchester. 

“Visiting hours are over in fourty-five minutes.” Zayn pointed out and he looked down at his watch before looking over to Harry, “If you want he can leave.” Zayn said softly, turning his foot sideways to knock it against Harry’s foot. 

“He’s fine.” Harry said finally, exhaling slowly and looking up, his eyes catching Nick’s before they went to Louis, “It’s really fine if he wants to come back. I’m allowed to have one person here anyway and my mum won’t be until the morning.” 

The bit of worry that was knitting Louis’ brows together dissolved and he nodded, “Let me just finish my rounds and get out of these clothes and I’ll be back. I could get some food if you’d like.” Louis was reaching for his bag after a moment and giving all three of the boys a nod as he made his way towards the door. 

“I’m fine, I’ll see you in a little while,” Harry said, closing the space between Zayn and himself and linking their fingers together when Louis left the room, “I’m not sure how that happened.” Harry said, shaking his head and finally moving over towards the small tree where Nick was now placing all of the packages. 

“Maybe it will be good for you. I told you you should have called him before anyway,” Zayn said softly, letting go of Harry’s hand to kneel down next to Nick so that they could organise the presents under the tree. 

“And hey, if nothing else,” Nick said, looking up and over his shoulder at Harry, “Louis and I were in a room together for more than five minutes without killing one another.” He said with a smirk before pushing himself up from the ground and brushing his hands off. “Evie is going to be over the moon when she wakes up and sees all of this.” Nick glanced over towards Zayn who gave him a slight nod. 

“I’m proud of you then,” Harry said and a soft laugh escaped his lips as he looked at Nick, “I never really understood what was wrong with the two of you anyway except that you’re both massive idiots.” 

“Think that’s what it is, bit of a competition to see who’s the worst,” Zayn joked, laughing softly and immediately freezing when he heard Evie moving and he turned back to look, relaxing and turning back around when he saw that she was still asleep. “Nick has something he wants to tell you,” Zayn said, nodding towards Nick just slightly. 

“I don’t want you to like, well, I don’t know.” Nick started, twisting his hands together in front of him, “I’m not sure how you’ll react to this but Zayn and I are going to have a baby. Well, we want to adopt, to be exact,” Nick spoke quickly and he flicked his eyes over Harry’s face before squeezing his hands together. 

“What? That’s amazing. Evie needs some cousins in her life,” Harry said, his lips pushing into a smile as he reached up to clap one of his hands over Nick’s back gently. “I’m really excited for you guys. When are you planning to start that, I'm not really sure how that works.” Harry’s cheeks went slightly pink at the confession and he shrugged his shoulders just slightly. 

“Well, we've already started the paper work and home visits,” Nick said and his lips spread into a wide smile as he reached out to take scratch his fingers over Zayn’s shoulder gently. “We were just nervous to say anything until we were sure that everything was going to be okay.” Nick shifted from one foot to the other before glancing back over his shoulder to look at Evie. 

Harry had shifted his weight so that he was looking back at Evie but could also see Zayn and Nick. “That’s amazing,” Harry said, stepping forward to wrap his arms around Nick in a tight hug before waggling his fingers at Zayn to give him a hug as well. “Honestly, I think that’s going to be great for you two and we know you’ll both be great dads. I’m so proud of you both.” 

“We just were a little nervous to tell you the news with everything going on.” Zayn admitted quietly, licking over his lips and nudging his shoulder against Harry’s gently. “But listen, if Louis bothers you just call me. I will come back and make him leave,” Zayn’s voice was soft and stern as he spoke. 

“Did you just become my personal security? Because it feels like you just became my personal security.” Harry said with a laugh and he pushed his fingers through his hair, pulling it out of his face and shaking his head after a moment. “You shouldn’t have been nervous to tell me. I’m really excited for you guys and you’ll have loads of hand me downs from Evie, of course.” Harry grinned, glancing over towards the bed and then back to Zayn and Nick. “I really appreciate everything you guys have done for me, you know. For me and Evie.” Harry’s voice went soft as he spoke and he flicked his focus from Zayn to Nick and then back again. 

“It’s not a big deal, it’s what friends do.” Nick said with a nod before he slipped one of his hands around Zayn’s lower back. “We better get out of here love, we’ve got a bit of driving ahead of us, yet. We are going to go up to Oldham to my mum and dad’s for Christmas. We will just be gone tonight and the day tomorrow so if anything comes up you can call.” Nick squeezed his hands at Zayn’s side and stepped just slightly closer to him. 

“We will be okay, but I’ll let you know if anything comes up,” Harry said with a smile, flicking his tongue out to wet his lips before making his way to both boys for a hug. “I love you both so much and I hope you have a Happy Christmas,” Harry added as he watched his two friends prepare to leave the room. 

“Yeah course, Happy Christmas to you too, Haz. We will call you tomorrow and check in. Let us know if you need anything because it’s really not anything if you do,” Zayn spoke warmly and his fingers were intertwined tightly with Nick’s as they left the room. 

Just as the door clicked closed, Evie shifted in the bed, letting out a whimper and then curling in on herself, her face scrunching up just slightly. Harry took only a second to cross the room and without thinking he kicked his shoes off and climbed into the bed with his daughter. Pulling her back against him, Harry wrapped his arms around her and shushed her, pressing soft kisses to her head and rubbing his hand against her side gently. 

When Louis returned to Evie’s room it was in a t-shirt and a pair of jeans and he was greeted with Harry snoring softly and Harry’s daughter pressed up against his chest and Louis couldn’t help the smile that crossed his lips. Closing the door carefully he took about three steps inside the room before. 

“Sorry, she was just having a hard time sleeping,” Harry’s voice was soft and mumbled, much like it always was when Harry had just woken up, “The nights are hard for her. I’m not sure what it is,” Harry explained, wiggling himself out of Evie’s grip so that he could get up, a small yawn escaping. 

“You didn’t have to get up. In fact you can lay back down and sleep, Harry.” Louis said, blinking slowly as he looked up at Harry, arching his back just slightly as he stretched. 

“No, I’m fine. It’s better if I’m up so that if she needs anything I can help her.” Harry reached up to rub his hands over his eyes as he motioned to the two chairs, “Why don’t you come sit down and we can talk?” 

Louis’ face folded into a slight frown and he nodded, following behind Harry, “How often are you sleeping?” He sunk down into the chair, a slight letdown but it shouldn’t have been - he knew how uncomfortable hospital furniture was, “You don’t look like you’ve been sleeping.” 

“I’m sleeping.” Harry’s reply was short, canned and he knew it sounded exactly that way. He knew Louis would see through it and that’s why Harry thought all of this was such a bad thing. It’s hard to hold together all your cracks when you’re around someone who sees your cracks so easily. 

“Harry,” Louis started, stretching his legs out in front of him and crossing them at the ankles before speaking, “Listen. I’m not asking you to tell me everything, or anything really, I’m just saying don’t lie to me. You don’t need to lie to me. You know that.” 

“I’m sorry. It’s just hard. I have these nightmares,” Harry’s voice was soft as he spoke and his eyes flitted across the room to Evie’s bed frequently, “it’s like every time I fall asleep these nightmares flash through my head and it’s gone really wrong you know? There’s nothing I can do to protect her now,” the whispers leaving Harry’s mouth were heartbreaking and the way he curled in on himself slightly in the chair was just as much so. 

“You’re doing everything right though, you know? You’re doing everything you can for her. And you’re here for her. You’re present.” Louis cleared his throat softly and scratched his fingers over the tops of his legs, “I’ve been doing this for a while you know? And sometimes I see kids who’s parents aren’t there. You’re here. That’s the most important thing you could be doing.” 

“I just feel like there’s more. How did I let this happen to her? How come I couldn’t stop it? I feel like if Evelyn were alive she would hate me for letting this happen,” Harry wasn’t sure where his feelings came from, not really, except for the fact that the one person in the world who could always get him to talk was sitting next to him. 

“That’s not how this works, Harry. You didn’t let it happen to her. It’s not your fault, it’s just something that happens. It’s not your fault.” Louis reached forward and rubbed his thumb over Harry’s knee gently before pulling his hand back. “You’re doing everything you can to take care of her and it’s important that you know it’s not your fault,” Louis sighed softly because he had gone through this conversation several times before, with a parent just like Harry, who felt so lost and confused with their child’s diagnosis. The first time it had happened, it had surprised Louis, but after the third or fourth he realised it was the stranger factor, the parent seeing a person, who wasn’t a doctor, who wasn’t a friend, who wasn’t anything but was someone who would listen. Of course with Harry, it was completely different than that. 

“It just feels like it you know? It’s my job to protect her and here we are,” Harry sunk down in the chair just slightly, scrubbing his hands against his eyes to dry the tears that had filled them. He wasn’t sure how he’d fallen into something so familiar with Louis, how it was so easy to fall into exactly how they had been before they grew apart but he wasn’t going to question it at the moment. 

“You are protecting her, Harry. You’re here getting her treatment and that’s how you’re protecting her. That’s what you do, you know? As her dad, that’s your part.” Louis sat up, his back cracking when he twisted in the seat, before he spoke again, “I wish you would have called me though. I could have been here more. I could be here more. I don’t know why you’ve tried so hard to keep me out of your life.” 

“It wasn’t like that, that’s not what I was trying to do,” Harry protested, “It’s just like, we all went our own ways. We grew up. I didn’t think we were friends as much anymore. And we just sort of stopped talking. I didn’t want to call and seem like I was looking for pity, that’s not what I’m after. I’m just,” Harry paused, sucking in a shaky breath and glancing at Louis, “I’m lonely. I haven’t seen anyone since Evelyn passed because I’m not ready for that I don’t think but I’m lonely. Not like it’s easy to date anyway when I never leave the hospital. God, I shouldn’t even be thinking about that right now.” 

Louis sat up, scooting forward in his chair and stretching his arm out to drop his fingers down on the top of Harry’s knee. “Harry, stop. It’s like you’re punishing yourself for all of this and you’ve got to stop, okay? It’s not your fault, none of it is. What happened to Evelyn, what’s happening now, that’s not your fault. There’s nothing wrong with thinking about taking care of yourself, even in this situation. I’m not saying run out and start dating everyone that you see, but it’s not wrong to think about it. You’ve got to take care of yourself. You’re no good to Evie or anyone else if you run yourself into the ground and,” Louis paused, his fingers curling down on Harry’s knee, “You know that, Harry. You do. We’ve done this to ourselves before, haven’t we? We’ve seen what happens.” Louis’ eyes were set on Harry as he spoke and while his voice was soft it was stern and he didn’t shift his focus until Harry looked at him, until he and Harry locked eyes for a moment. 

Harry locked eyes with Louis for only a moment before shifting his eyes away so that he wasn’t looking at Louis any longer. “It’s just different now you know? She’s all I’ve got and it’s so scary because I feel like she’s going to be gone any second. It’s like there isn’t enough time to make all the memories, it’s just not fair,” Harry was rambling, it was evident in the way his hands nervously shifted around, just as they had always done when he was rambling but he shrugged his shoulders and looked over at Louis. “I’m a mess,” Harry finally admitted, pressing his lips together and letting out a soft breath. 

“Reckon you’re meant to be a mess aren’t you? I don’t know how I would feel if I were you, but mess would be a gentle way to describe it, I think,” Louis pondered, shifting so that he could look over at the hospital bed and the small frame curled up in it. “God, Harry, I’m so sorry you’re going through this,” Louis said as he turned back to look at Harry. Harry that looked older than Louis had ever imagined, Harry who looked more tired than he had ever seen him and, “Why don’t you get a shower? I’ll stay here. I’ll look over her,” Louis spoke quietly reaching forward to tangle his fingers gently with Harry’s fingers. 

Harry furrowed his brow, watching Louis for a moment, his head finally tipping to the side. “Okay, I, just, if she wakes up, come get me. She’ll be scared because she doesn’t know you,” Harry said carefully, looking at the way their hands were twisted together before pulling his hand away from Louis slowly. 

“I will, Harry. I won’t let her get scared,” Louis promised, pulling his arm back and curling his fingers around his knee as he watched Harry. Louis watched Harry for a moment before making his way over to the bed, sitting down with one of his feet tucked under him as he rested his hand on the bed, looking at Evie’s small frame. 

When Harry stepped out of the bathroom, his wet hair hanging around his face it was to find Louis pressing a soft kiss to the top of Evie’s head, his fingers rubbing her side gently. “She’s kind of perfect isn’t she?” Harry asked, glancing over at Louis and reaching up to push his fingers through his hair. 

“She’s gorgeous, Haz. She’s just so small and beautiful and perfect,” Louis confirmed, pressing his lips together and sitting back up as he looked over at Harry. “She looks just like you honestly,” Louis admitted and if his cheeks went a little warm with the direct connection his brain made at the two things he had said, he wasn’t going to be bothered with it - not here, not now. 

“Thank you, she’s strong like her mummy though. She fights everything so well, I was never good at that, was I?” Harry said, but his smile was fond as he made his way across the room to stand at the end of the bed. “I really appreciate all of this, you know. Not just what you’ve done for me tonight, but what you do for all the families going through this. It’s something so important but when you’re in this situation it’s hard to think about that, you know?” Harry was rambling again, his fingers sliding over the end of the hospital bed but there was a soft smile on his lips. 

Louis stepped next to Harry, his shoulder brushing against Harry’s bicep and he looked up at him with a nod. “I know, I guess I just feel like it’s the least I can do. If I was in this situation, I would want someone to do the same thing for me. Like to have someone who isn’t in the situation do what they could to help,” Louis sighed and well, he did his own bit of rambling, didn’t he. Licking over his lips he moved his hand to rest on top of Harry’s, squeezing his knuckles gently. “Please don’t push me away again,” Louis asked softly, his lips pressed together as he looked up at Harry. 

Harry glanced over Louis’ face and then he nodded, wiggling his fingers that were under Louis’ hand. “I think I can try that, it was just hard because it seemed like awful thing after awful thing and I didn’t want you boys to think I was just after your pity, it’s not been like that,” Harry said, looking at Louis and letting a soft breath escape his lips. 

It was two weeks later when Harry saw Louis again, Zayn and Nick had gone up north to see Nick’s parents and Evie was being released from the hospital and Harry was terrified to put her in the back seat of the car by herself. 

“D’ya want me to drive or sit in back with her?” Louis asked from behind the wheelchair that was pushing Evie and Harry’s things out of the hospital - Evie had opted for clinging onto Harry and letting Harry carry her. 

“Either way, I’m okay with, I think.” Harry said softly, nuzzling against Evie’s cheek before pressing a kiss there and dropping his voice to tell his little girl just how much he loved her. 

“Maybe I could try sitting in back with you Miss Evie?” Louis asked, reaching up and pushing one of his fingers under Evie’s fingers that were curled around Harry’s arm. 

Evie nodded, immediately curling her fingers around Louis’ finger and lifting her head to look at Harry, “Daddy?” Her small voice said, her eyes blinking quickly at Harry. 

“I think that would be just fine princess. Louis is nice and if he’s not you’ve got to just stick you’re tongue out at him,” Harry explained before turning his head to look at Louis and poking his tongue out at the older male as an example. 

Evie giggled, reaching up and digging her fingers into Harry’s cheek before turning her head towards Louis and sticking her own tongue out, her giggles still escaping through her lips. 

Louis pursed his lips, trying to hide a laugh, but it escaped anyway and he shook his head, “You two are a pair, aren’t you? Just like one another.” Louis said before leaning up and pressing a soft kiss to Evie’s cheek. 

_From: Harry Styles_  
To: Evie Styles  
Subject: Home 

_Little Miss Evie,_

_Today we got to come home from the hospital. It was so hard watching you go through treatment and knowing there wasn’t anything that I could do to take the pain away was so difficult. You are such a strong, beautiful little girl and I’m so proud to be your daddy._

_I was so worried while we were there about spending Christmas in the hospital and as silly as it sounds in hindsight I was so worried about making your Christmas perfect in the hospital and with the help of a few friends, it ended up being more than I could ever have expected. I am so lucky to have you in my life and I think that so often, but it’s so true. You’ve taught me so many things and I look forward to all of the memories we have to create ahead of us. I’m attaching some pictures of our Christmas to this email so you can see just how lovely our Christmas was._

_Oh, I wanted to mention Louis. He was in the band with me when I was younger and by chance alone he ended up visiting us in the hospital. He’s been spending some time around us with Zayn and Nick as well and he cares about you just as much as they do. He can be a pretty big pain, but I know he will look out for you and keep you safe and that makes me feel so much better, just know that there’s someone else who won’t let anything hurt you. Someone who will look after you just in case._

_And now, a joke:_

_What time do you go to the dentist?_

_Tooth-thirty._

_All the love,_

_Daddy_

After treatment, the doctors appointments weren’t as frequent and Evie, although still frequently tired, rebounding quickly. She often got tired quickly but her spirit was still just as bright, her smile was still just as happy and she still seemed to fill any room that she was in with happiness. 

“I can’t believe that Easter is tomorrow,” Louis said, sitting next to Harry, who had just returned from putting Evie to bed. 

“Me either, you really didn’t have to like do a thing, it would’ve been okay if we were just here,” Harry said softly, leaning his head over onto Louis’ shoulder and letting out a soft breath. Having Louis there had been so nice, it had been so calm and Harry was so glad to have his best friend back. 

“It’s not just for you, don’t be ridiculous,” Louis said, but his smirk gave him away. He had organised an Easter egg hunt on the lawn of his house and while other kids were going to be there, it had been mostly for Evie. Louis had decided he would give Evie everything he possibly could because seeing her smile was better than anything, well almost anything, seeing Harry’s smile was just slightly better, he thought. 

The next morning when Harry stepped out of the back of the car, walked around and got Evie out, Louis knew he had made the right decision. Evie was in a pastel pink dress, silver glitter shoes and she had a wrap around her head, no doubt done by Harry, complete with a massive bow that was just barely hanging over her left eyebrow. Her eyes lit up when she saw the other kids and all of the decorations on Louis’ line and Louis had definitely made the perfect decision. 

“Come on then princess,” Harry said down to Evie, smiling when she lifted her arms up and leaning down just slightly to pick her up. “I’m so excited for you to look for Easter eggs. I’ll help you find them when it’s time,” Harry said, kissing her cheek and walking over to where Louis was watching them carefully. 

“She looks beautiful,” Louis whispered to Harry, leaning up on his toes to kiss Harry’s cheek before kissing Evie and speaking again, his voice a thousand times softer this time, “You look so gorgeous, Evie. I’m so glad you’re here.” Louis grinned as he settled back down onto his feet and looked around. 

“Ewie!” Evie said, reaching to press her fingers to Louis’ cheek and he couldn’t help but grin at the nickname. 

Harry laughed softly before ducking down to let her down, watching as she made her way across the grass to where other kids were, a small smile spreading across his lips as he watched her. “This is too much, Louis. You’re such a good person you know?” Harry said, glancing around his yard and then over to Evie who was standing next to a little boy who was just slightly taller than her. 

“Dunno it’s all a bit worth it just to see them happy,” Louis said before nodding towards the kids and then nudging his shoulder against Harry’s shoulder. “Listen I’ve got a few things to take care of before the Easter Egg hunt but I’ll catch up with you just before it starts. I don’t want to miss out on Evie,” Louis smiled, reaching forward and squeezing Harry’s hand gently before turning to head through his yard, talking to a few people along the way. 

Harry didn’t mind really, he wanted to stay close to Evie, watch her close to make sure she wasn’t going to get hurt or sick and he knew he’d become a little more protective since she had gotten sick, but that was to be expected, he thought. 

When it was time for the Easter egg hunt to start, all the kids were gathered together and Harry had his phone out of his pocket, snapping photos as Louis talked to the group of kids. “Everyone be careful,” Louis was saying softly, “Remember to help your friends and remember there are enough eggs for each of you to have a lot of them,” Louis smiled, stepping out of the way of the children before telling them to go. 

Harry wasn’t far behind Evie, her small fingers curled around her basket as she headed towards the eggs, which rather than being hidden were strategically laid all over the grass. The first egg she stopped to pick up was a pastel pink egg, covered in glitter and she stayed hunched over on the ground for a moment, looking at the egg before placing it carefully in her basket. “Daddy!” Evie said, turning to look up at Harry as she stood, the tip of her shoe catching in the lace underskirt of her dress, pushing her balance forward and landing her in a heap on the grass. 

Harry’s eyes had been on Evie, much like he felt they had been ever since he found out she was sick. It wasn’t that he hadn’t watched her before, but it was like being more in touch with every one of her actions. “Baby,” Harry gasped out, stepping forward and leaning down to pick Evie up. Scooping under her arms, Harry lifted her and pulled her close to his chest, “Baby, you’re alright I’ve got you.” 

Just as Harry had his arms around Evie, she stretched in his arms, letting out a scream and stretching her arms over her head, sucking in a breath before looking at Harry with wet eyes and red cheeks, “Ewie, Ewie!” Evie shouted in her tiny voice, a determined look set on her face that reminded Harry of one he had seen on his late wife’s face many times. 

Glancing around, Harry already saw Louis on his way over to them, his eyes wide and full of concern, “She wants you,” Harry said when Louis was at his side, his bottom lip poking out in a soft frown because his baby girl wanted someone else. His baby girl wanted someone who wasn’t him. 

“I’m here, Evie, princess,” Louis said, holding his arms out to Harry to take Evie, pulling the girl into his arms and pressing kisses to her cheeks as he settled her on his hip. “Are you alright little sweet?” Louis asked, reaching up with his free hand to push his fingers through Evie’s hair gently. 

Evie nodded, nuzzling into Louis’ neck as she quieted down, blowing a soft raspberry against his neck before letting out a giggle. 

Louis laughed, glancing over at Harry before whispering, “she’s just fine, babe,” and then pulling Evie back a little so he could look at her, “Come on princess, we better go get you some eggs, hm? I bet they’re full of candy, don’t you think?” 

Harry could feel the tension release from between his shoulders when Louis had Evie, smiling at them and curling his fingers to itch the inside of his palms before relaxing them again. “You two get some eggs and I’ll get some pictures,” Harry said with a nod, pulling his phone from his pocket and flicking to the camera app.  
Being the only parent, Harry hadn’t gotten to have much experience being the parent on the other side of the camera, he was always doing everything with Evie and just getting to see her from this side was probably one of the best things Harry had experienced. He loved seeing the smile on her face when she put an egg into her basket, the smile on Louis’ face when she was determined to only hold one egg and not pick up any others, the entire thing was such an experience for Harry and he was so glad to be capturing the photos of the pair of them. 

Once Evie’s basket was full to the top with eggs, Louis made his way back to Harry, Evie still in his arms. “We did pretty good right?” Louis asked, a grin spread over his lips as he looked up at Harry, his arm squeezed tightly around the little girl. 

“You two did very good,” Harry said, leaning down to kiss Evie’s forehead before taking her basket from Louis, “I’m so proud of you my little angel,” Harry said with a grin, pushing his phone into his back pocket with his free hand. 

 

“Kiss! Kiss!” Evie demanded, her small voice and eyes set firm on Harry, just a moment later, she reached up and pressed her fingers against Louis’ cheek, “Kiss! Kiss!” She repeated, scrunching up her tiny nose and not moving her focus from Harry. 

Harry laughed, because he couldn’t not laugh at just how darling his daughter was. She easily took his breath away and Harry couldn’t believe he’d been so lucky. “Oh, how could I forget to give Louis a kiss,” Harry said dramatically, giving a look back to Evie before he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Louis’ cheek, “I think we are all better now.” 

Louis’ cheeks went slightly red at the kiss and if he and Harry both noticed neither of them said anything about it. Harry nudged Louis’ shoulder softly and they both headed back towards the house. “I’m so glad that we could do this,” Louis said with a smile, pressing his lips together and stopping once they reached the walk, his eyes moving from Evie to Harry and back to the rest of the people who were still in his yard. 

“I really, really appreciate you doing all of this for us, Louis. It means more than you know,” Harry said softly, biting down on his bottom lip and reaching to take Evie from him, “I better get this one home for her nap though, I’ll call you in the morning, I promise,” Harry said with a grin, saying his goodbyes to Louis before heading for his car. 

Louis watched Harry and Evie, giving her a quick kiss before Harry was leaving, his hands twisted together in front of him gently and his words slipped out in a whisper, almost non-existent, “You mean more than you know,” and Louis immediately shook his head, putting on a warm smile and lifting his hand to wave at them, Evie already almost asleep on Harry’s shoulder just from the walk to the car. 

_From: Harry Styles_  
To: Evie Styles  
Subject: It’s Easter! 

_My darling Evie Bug,_

_You had the most beautiful dress on for Easter today and Louis had a special Easter egg hunt for kids at his house today. It was so wonderful getting to watch you so healthy and strong running around. You did trip over your dress (it was a bit too long - that was my fault, I’m sorry, sweet pea) but as soon as I scooped you up off the group, you wanted Louis. When you say his name right now it sounds like you’re saying ‘Ewie’ and it’s hands down one of your cutest words. I let Louis take you and he helped you find eggs, I took pictures of you two, so I’ll attach some of them here so you can see just how cute you were. I always wonder how out of style the clothes will be by the time you look at these photos and you’ll think I dressed you horribly, but I promise even in the weirdest outfits you’d be the cutest thing in this universe. Every experience I get to have with you is so wonderful, I’m such a lucky person to have you as my daughter, to get to be your father, I love you to the moon and back, little miss. I hope you had just as much fun today as I did, and I hope we always have so much fun on all of our little adventures. You are the best thing that ever happened to me._

_All my love,_

_Daddy_

As the seasons changed, Harry got more and more excited about the impending arrival of fall and of one of his favourite holidays - Halloween. Harry knew he wanted to have a costume party at his house, nothing too fancy, but just a small party with an excuse to put himself and Evie in costumes and take adorable photos. 

“Do you think we should have matching costumes?” Louis asked curiously, while he and Harry were on the phone.  
Harry had just peeked in on Evie, who was still peacefully napping in her crib and he waited until he had pulled the door shut to answer Louis, “Well, what if the three of us had matching costumes?” Harry’s voice was soft even though he was out of Evie’s room and he reached up to push his fingers through his hair gently. 

“Yeah, that’s what I meant,” Louis spoke, his words followed with a soft laugh, “I wouldn’t want to leave poor little miss Evie with no one to match her costume to. I was trying to come up with some good ideas, but I really haven’t come across anything good.” 

“I thought about a cat, mouse and cheese, but then I worry because I don’t want people to think about the cat eating the mouse,” Harry said, furrowing his brows together just slightly, “I’m also not sure that you’d want to dress up as cheese.” 

“How would I even dress up like cheese?” Louis asked curiously, laughing softly down the line before speaking again, “I’ll come over later and we can talk about ideas for costumes, if you want?” 

“I would actually love that yeah, I’m going to catch a little sleep while Evie is sleeping and I’ll call you once she’s awake and we can sort it out,” Harry said before they said their goodbyes and Harry hung up. He checked on Evie one more time before heading down the hall to his room and climbing into his bed, his eyes falling shut almost immediately when he hit the sheets. 

Before Harry knew it, Halloween had arrived and Louis was knocking impatiently at his door. Harry huffed as he made his way down the steps reminding himself that he really needed to get Louis his own copy of the key so he would stop knocking. Pulling the door open, Harry grinned, looking around his home that was decorated for the holiday, “Hi! You’re here, are you excited?” Harry asked, reaching out and curling his fingers around Louis’ wrist as he pulled him inside and shut the door behind him. 

“Yeah, but I’m not sure why you had to pick a costume for me that put me in tights,” Louis scoffed, laughing and leaning in to press a light kiss to Harry’s cheek. 

Harry smiled at the kiss, kissing had become a thing for them, late at night after they’d put Evie to bed Harry and Louis had taken to making out on the couch and it had been something that Harry had comfortably, and happily fallen into. “Well, when you walked back into my life it was in a pair of tights and it’s quite a fond memory, if you ask me,” Harry smirked, hooking his finger under Louis’ jaw and lifting his head to press their lips into a soft kiss. 

Louis smiled against Harry’s lips before leaning back just slightly, “If you’re trying to say that you’re putting me in tights for every important event in our lives, I’m going to respectfully decline, Hazza, I’m not wearing tights forever.” Louis huffed, looking down at his green clad legs and then shaking his head as he looked at Harry. 

“I’m certain that when you see Evie,” Harry paused, clearing his throat and looking at Louis, “I’m certain that when you see Tinkerbell you’ll be absolutely convinced to always wear tights no matter when I request that you do,” Harry laughed, sliding his hand forward and linking his fingers with Louis’ with a soft squeeze. 

“You’re probably spot on with that, but she could be dressed up as the rubbish and she’d be the cutest thing in this world, wouldn’t she?” Louis asked, squeezing at Harry’s hand gently before he lifted it up and pressed his lips to the back of Harry’s hand gently, “She’s a lot like her father in that way, if I’m being honest.” 

“If I’m being honest,” Harry said, pausing with his cheeks stained red with a slight blush, “I think you’re full of shit, Louis Tomlinson,” Harry’s voice cracked a little when he laughed, his head tipping to the side as he looked down at Louis before he leaned down and pressed a kiss to his lips, “But thank you. I appreciate it.” 

“You’re welcome, love,” Louis spoke, not able to push the smile away from his lips, his head turning to nod towards the stairs, “Let’s go up and get her ready, she’s going to be so excited when everyone gets here.” 

“She was so excited, which is why she’s taking such a late nap, I felt like I had to fight her all afternoon to get her to even entertain the idea of a nap,” Harry said with a laugh, following Louis up the steps to Evie’s bedroom, Harry looked down at his own white button down and brown pants. 

“I know someone else who was like that the thing before our first gig of a tour,” Louis said with a laugh, pushing the door to Evie’s room open and laughing when he saw her sitting up in her crib, “Happy Halloween princess!” Louis said happily, making his way across the room to ‘rescue’ Evie from her crib, pulling her close and pressing kisses all over her face. “Daddy said you were meant to be taking a nap,” Louis said softly, brushing his nose against Evie’s nose. 

“Daddy bad boy,” Evie said, moving both of her hands to cover her face before a few giggles fell from her lips as she peeked through her fingers to look at Louis. 

Harry rolled his eyes, a fond roll of his eyes as he looked at Evie and Louis. He loved the way they had bonded, the way Louis seemed to just mold into their lives in all the places there were the biggest holes. Harry still missed Evelyn, every day he still missed her, but he didn’t feel the constant suffocation of being alone, of being broken, that he did when she first passed away. 

“You know for as long as I’ve known your daddy,” Louis said, pausing to look over at Harry who was getting Evie’s costume out of her closet, “He’s had a lot of bad ideas, but, I do think his idea for you to have a nap before the big party was quite a good idea.” 

Harry laid Evie’s costume over her dresser, making his way over and just like it was something he had always done, he slipped his arm around Louis’ waist and pulled him a little closer, his free hand moving to rest on Evie’s back as he leaned in to kiss her cheek gently, “Thank you,” Harry whispered to Louis, taking a moment just to watch the pair of them, just to enjoy the moment that he was in. 

By the time they had Evie dressed and both Harry and Louis had finished getting dressed, Harry was exhausted. Louis looked, well, he looked like something else in his Peter Pan costume, Evie’s Tinkerbell costume was one of the cutest things Harry had ever seen and he thought his own Captain Hook costume wasn’t the worst thing ever. It was like, staring at the three of them in the mirror that they were a little family - brought together by chance and circumstance, but they were a family and Harry felt a fond pang in his heart that he hadn’t felt in ages. 

“What exactly are you?” Harry asked, looking up from where Evie was stacking blocks on each other in the living room to see Zayn and Nick, standing hand in hand, dressed in what was, well, what they wore any other day, “Did you forget that this was a costume party?” Harry asked finally, a soft sigh falling from his lips as he stood up to finally greet his friends in front of him. 

“Oh, well, actually,” Nick said, and his knuckles went white with how tightly he was squeezing Zayn’s hand, “we’ve got a little bit of news to share with you and we thought-” 

“We are adopting a little boy!” Zayn cut in happily, bouncing on his toes just slightly and his face split into a smile that must have been next to killing him for keeping it in, “I didn’t ever think it was going to happen and we’ve been trying to figure it out forever but someone chose us to adopt their little boy and he’s going to be born any day now.” Zayn’s cheeks were stained red with a blush when he finished speaking and he was still bouncing on his toes just slightly. 

“So we’re like,” Nick said, foregoing holding Zayn’s hand in favour of wrapping his arm around Zayn and pulling him in closer, in a way almost grounding the younger male before meeting Harry’s gaze, “We’re dressed as dads.” 

Harry watched the two of them, watched their interaction and for a moment he felt like his heart was going to explode. He was sure he didn’t know two people who loved one another just as much as Zayn and Nick loved each other and he was even more certain that he didn’t know anyone who deserved a child more, “You’re dressed as dads.” Harry said and instead of continuing, he snapped his jaw shut because he could feel his eyes filling with tears and he stepped forward, pulling Zayn into a hug before reaching out to pull Nick into the same hug. 

It was like clock work, the way Louis made his way back into the living room just as a tear fell from Harry’s cheek and he was at the other’s side in no time, reaching up to dry the wetness before speaking, “What’s going on? Why’ve you two got Harry crying?” 

“We’re gonna have a son, mate. Can you believe it?” Nick asked, nudging his shoulder forward to bump against Louis’ before leaning back into Zayn and pressing a soft kiss to the side of Zayn’s head. 

“That’s sick,” Louis said, taking his own turn at hugging both of the boys, Harry watching them and just then, when he saw the way that Louis and Nick interacted, the way they’d changed from how they’d been so many years ago, Harry felt that pang in his heart again. 

As the party was winding down, Nick and Zayn were sitting on the couch, playing with Evie who was absolutely determined as she was pretending to put makeup on both of their faces and Harry was watching and taking photos from across the room. 

“Party is smashing babe,” Louis said warmly, taking his spot next to Harry and reaching up to curl his fingers around Harry’s wrist, the tips of his fingers pressing just slightly at the pulse in Harry’s wrist. 

“Lou,” Harry said and the older male’s name fell from his lips in what sounded like a breath, “I need to talk to you.” He continued, turning and pushing his phone into his back pocket as he looked over Louis’ face. 

“What’s wrong? Are you okay? Is Evie okay?” Louis questioned quickly, turning just the same to face Harry and looking up at him with wide, concerned eyes. 

Harry pressed his lips together and scrunched his nose up, Louis’ immediate concern for him and his daughter making him feel like tears were going to fall from his eyes at any moment, “It’s okay,” Harry said softly, wiggling his wrist out of Louis’ grip and linking their fingers together. “I just need to tell you something,” Harry had found his calm, his tongue pressing against the roof of his mouth before he continued, “I love you. I know we’ve been through so much and you’ve been here so much and I know I kiss you sometimes. I know we,” Harry’s cheeks went bright red at the thought, “fool around sometimes, I know we do all those things but, I just, I love you. I’m in love with you.” Harry stumbled over his confession just slightly, shrugging his shoulder sheepishly just after and exhaling a deep breath he didn’t realise that he was holding. 

With every word that left Harry’s mouth, Louis’ smile grew, looking up at Harry and he shifted from one foot to the other before opening his mouth to respond, “I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels that way,” Louis said, almost too in awe to say anything else, “I’m in love with you too, Harry Styles.” 

That familiar pang was back, but this time it felt like it was exploding through Harry’s chest and he leaned in, brushing his nose against Louis’ nose before pressing their lips into a soft kiss, his fingers that weren’t tangled with Louis’ reaching to pulling Louis forward and wrapping around his waist. 

Louis pulled away from the kiss a moment later, looking over to see Zayn looking at them with a grin, “I might be a fool, but I think everyone else knew before we did,” he laughed, squeezing Harry’s fingers and nudging his shoulder to get him to look over towards the couch. 

Harry nodded at Louis, laughing and poking his tongue out, “I was never a quick one,” he said with a smile, shifting to look at Nick who was half laying on the couch with Evie curled on top of him sleeping, “they’re going to make brilliant fathers.” 

“You said that, not me,” Louis said with a laugh, sneaking in another another kiss before finally letting go of Harry’s hand. “We better get her up to bed,” He nodded towards Evie, biting down on his bottom lip when Zayn waved him up and nudged Nick to get him up so they could take her to bed. 

Harry watched them, wrapping his arm around Louis and smiling softly, “It’s like, it’s just like everything fits together again now, isn’t it?” Harry asked quietly, squeezing Louis again and biting down on his bottom lip, “I’m so glad you’re here. I’m so glad I have Evie. I’m so glad I have amazing friends,” Harry shrugged, reaching up and rubbing his hand over his eyes gently. 

Louis smiled up at Harry, nodding in agreement, “I know, we are really lucky, aren’t we,” Louis smiled softly, biting down on his bottom lip gently, “and we are going to get good news tomorrow at Evie’s appointment and that’s going to make everything even better.” 

Harry shivered at that, knowing they’d find out tomorrow if Evie was in remission had been something he’d tried to keep in the back of his mind all day, something he and Louis had silently agreed to not talk about during the party, “I know, I know, I am trying to stay positive about it.” 

“She’s out like a light,” Nick said when he returned down the steps with Zayn, “we changed her and got her settled,” he added with a smile, reaching out to wrap his arm around Zayn reflexively. 

Between the four, it didn’t take hardly any time to get the living room cleaned up from the party and after promising to call Zayn and Nick as soon as they had news no less than three times, Louis was locking the door behind them and looking over at Harry who was already half asleep on the couch. “I’m glad they were here for you, you know, when I wasn’t,” Louis said, shuffling across the living room floor to slip his fingers under Harry’s arm to pull him up, “need to get you to bed, love, right now.” 

Harry smiled sleepily, getting himself up from the couch and following Louis up the steps where they fell into bed together like it was something they’d been doing their entire lives. 

The entire next morning was filled with jitters and while Harry made breakfast for everyone, Evie was the only one who ate anything while Harry and Louis sat across from one another pushing their food around their plates. 

Harry couldn’t place the feeling of waiting for the results of the tests that had been done on Evie, it was something he’d never experienced in his life before and he couldn’t compare it to anyone to explain it to them, his nerves felt like they were all over the place but he was trying to hold it together so he didn’t make Evie upset. 

“We’re going to see the doctor today,” Harry said finally, looking at Evie who looked up and shrugged, “Hopefully the doctor will tell us you don’t have to have any super special treatments anymore.” 

“All fixed?” Evie asked, wiggling in her seat as she took another bite of her pancake. 

“I sure hope so baby girl, I sure hope so,” Harry said as he got up from the table to put their plates away. 

Luckily for all three of them, Louis had decided they should call for a car rather than either one of them driving, explaining to Harry they’d both be too nervous to and when the car pulled up in front of the doctor’s office Harry was more than happy that Louis had done it. Sliding out of the car, he took Evie into his arms and walked inside with Louis, unable to help the way he seemed to hold Evie a little tighter, pressing soft kisses to her cheek as she walked. 

“We’re gonna be okay,” Louis murmured behind Harry, reaching up to rub Harry’s back gently as they walked, his fingers resting there just so that no matter what, Harry knew that he wasn’t alone. 

“Gonna be okay,” Harry replied as they stepped inside the office and immediately, just all the memories in the office came rushing back to Harry. It’s where he had found out she was sick and the nausea that came with that memory made Harry glad he hadn’t eaten anything for breakfast. 

“Evie! You’re here,” One of the nurses behind the desk said, walking around to open the door that lead to the examination rooms, “the doctor was waiting for you,” she said, shifting and giving Harry a warm smile. 

Harry smiled back before whispering a thank you and he’d learned quickly on that he couldn’t judge what the news was going to be on a nurse’s facial expressions, he wasn’t sure how they did it, not really, because he had seen some nurses go through awful things and hold it together for their patients. 

“Right in here and he’ll be right in,” The nurse pushed the door to an exam room open and Harry nodded, pausing before he stepped inside. 

“It’s the same room,” Harry said, sucking in a slow breath, the oxygen in the room almost suffocating him as he made his way to the paper covered table to sit Evie down. 

Louis took a moment before stepping forward into both Harry and Evie’s space, his right hand curling around Evie and his left moving up to rest on Harry’s chest, “We’re going to be okay, Harry, look at me,” Louis paused, waiting to lock eyes with Harry, “the three of us. We’re going to be okay. I love you both,” Louis said, keeping his eyes on Harry for a moment later before glancing over at Evie, a silly smile coming onto his features immediately as he made a face at Evie. 

Harry took a deep breath, focusing on Louis with Evie, slow breaths in and out until he calmed himself down, “Thank you,” Harry said finally, reaching out to rub Louis’ back gently. 

Louis smiled over at Harry for a split second before continuing to play with Evie who was laughing and reaching out to try and tickle Louis as the doctor made his way into the room, a folder in his hands. 

Harry turned towards the doctor immediately, looking at the folder and his head started spinning with thoughts of what the papers in the folder could say - maybe it was more treatments, maybe it was bad news, good news didn’t come with paperwork, did it? 

“Hello Miss Evie!” The doctor said happily, before looking at Louis, “I’m not sure that I’ve met you before?” He questioned. 

“I’m Louis,” Louis said with a shrug, “A mate of Harry’s,” He said in favour of going into detail about what their relationship really was.

“Nice to meet you,” the doctor replied, taking his seat just across from where the three of them were, “So let’s get right to it then? I have some amazing news for you,” he started, pausing as Harry let out an audible breath and colour came back to his face, “Our little princess right here is in remission.” 

“Oh my god,” Harry said and without his permission at all his eyes filled with tears because he was certain he’d never heard anything better in his entire life. “Oh my god,” He repeated, picking Evie up and pulling her close as he kissed all over her face, “Did you hear that bug? You’re all fixed.” Harry said, laughing softly when Evie poked Harry’s cheeks where the tears were. 

The doctor waited a moment before speaking again, “I’ve put together a lot of information for you all but I won’t make you sit here and listen to it now, we can meet again in a few weeks to go over it. But just to gloss over, we would like to have her tested once a year every year until she’s ten. Additionally if she gets really ill, past a cold or has a persistent fever we would like to have another look just to make sure that we aren’t missing anything.” 

Louis nodded, listening to the doctor as he fished his phone from his pockets and flipped to the notes app, quickly noting everything down so that he wouldn’t forget anything that he was told. “Thank you so much, really,” Louis said to the doctor, reaching out to shake his hand. 

“It’s always a pleasure to deliver good news,” The doctor said, stopping to give Harry a handshake as well before squeezing Evie’s arm gently and excusing himself from the room. 

“Oh my god,” Harry said for the third time, letting out a soft laugh, and hugging Evie again, “We have to call Uncle Zayn and Uncle Nick and tell them the good news baby girl,” Harry said, taking a few deep breaths just to convince himself that this was real, that this part of his nightmare was finally over. 

“Yaaaaay,” Evie said happily, waving her arms around and then crashing her nose into Harry’s cheek in some sort of kiss before she dissolved into a fit of giggles. 

“I’m so happy,” Louis said softly, stepping closer to Harry and wrapping his arms around both Harry and Evie to pull them into a hug, “I’m so glad that I was able to be here for this, Haz,” Louis’ voice cracked just slightly when he spoke and he leaned in and dropped a kiss on Harry’s bicep. 

_From: Harry Styles_  
To: Evie Styles  
Subject: Best Day EVER! 

_Evie Bug,_

_Today has been the best day ever, yesterday was Halloween and I’m sending you some photos of how absolutely adorable you looked but today. Today we had to go to the doctor and they told us that your cancer is in remission. I can’t believe that I’m actually typing this and telling you this and I’m so excited. I’m so proud of you. We still will have to have you tested occasionally to make sure that everything is still okay, but that’s not what’s important today. Today it’s important you’re healthy and that you’re strong and that I am so so proud of you my little bug. I love you to the moon and back and I’m so happy to be here for this moment. I can’t wait for all the moments we will have and I promise you that I will always be there for you no matter what. I can’t believe everything we’ve been through in the last year and you’ve surprised me day after day with how strong and smart and determined you are. I am so lucky to be your father and so lucky to have you in my life each and every day. I love you, my little bug._

_All my love,_

_Daddy_

Christmas Eve. Harry felt like his heart was going to explode from happiness and the tree was perfectly decorated in the living room with packages littered below it. 

“I’ve got to get Evie to sleep,” Harry said with a laugh, looking over at Louis who was curled on the edge of the couch with a mug of tea. Evie was sitting down near the tree, picking up the packages one by one and shaking them. 

“Better do or Santa will never come, will he,” Louis replied, watching as Harry made his way across the room to scoop Evie up. “I’ve just got to do one thing and then I’ll meet you upstairs. We better sleep too or Santa won’t come for us either.” 

“I hope he brings me that pony I’ve been asking for,” Harry said with a laugh, wiggling Evie in his arms and laughing before heading up the stairs with her. 

Harry looked back down the steps at Louis, smiling at the way the lights of the tree just hardly lit him up, with a blanket around him and his laptop resting on his lap. “You’re going to be so excited in the morning when Santa has come to see you, I bet you’ll get so many neat things.” Harry talked to Evie as he walked to her room as she babbled back to him. 

_From: Louis Tomlinson_  
To: Evie Styles  
Subject: Hi Evie! 

_Evie,_

_Hi there little darling. I’m hoping your daddy won’t be mad at me for sending an email here but he did tell me that he has given this to a few people to be able to message you so here I am. You remind me so much of your daddy because you are so optimistic and happy and you’re just, you’re so much like him in all of the best ways. I wasn’t very close to your mummy, but I bet that you’re much like her as well. Everything I have heard about her tells me that you are. You are an amazing little girl and I’m so lucky that I’ve been given the chance to know you. I have loved getting to know you and getting to listen to your little babbles and your words and everything about you._

_Your daddy is a very special person. We met when he was 16 and I was 18 and I knew from the moment that I met him that he would always be a special person to me. I thought at the time maybe it would just be like, I would always remember how positive he was in a situation where everyone was beyond nervous, but it turns out that he became my best friend. He became the person that I went on this amazing journey with and experienced some things that a lot of people never get to experience. The entire time we were on that journey he really never lost that optimism. Some days it was a bit dull, but everyone has that some days don’t they? Anyway, I have always had this special love for your daddy because he makes me a better person, you know? He makes me smile when I feel like I’m falling apart, he makes me calm when I’m angry, he makes me see the positive when I only see the negative. There’s so many things I could say about him that I could be here for three days and never really finish telling you everything there is to say. Somewhere along the way, I think I fell in love with your daddy. I’m not sure when it happened, or how it happened, but if I’m guessing, I think that watching him lay you in your cot at night, watching the way that he was so careful with you, so loving with you, made me realise that I was. I’ve never in my life wanted to make someone happy more than I want to make your daddy (and you) happy. If you were a little bit older, I’d be telling you all of this face to face rather than writing an email that you can read when you’re older and now that I’m thinking about it, I think I’ll speak to you about this too, but you may not remember that bit._

_I feel a bit like I’m rambling and you’ll probably learn that I do that a lot even if I’m not meaning to. The thing is, I want to love your daddy for the rest of our lives. I want to remind him how important he is and always be there for him. I think that’s the most important thing in life right? Having someone that always reminds you that you’re the entire world. I’m hoping that when you grow up, you meet someone like that. Someone who sees the world in you and will do anything to give you the world. That’s what I want to do for your daddy. I want to spend the rest of my life making him realise that he’s the most important thing in the world. I hope you’re okay with that, I hope you think I’m a good person to do that and I hope that if you were given the chance to give me the approval I’m asking for, you’d say it’s just fine. Gosh, I’m not sure if this even makes sense, but I felt like I couldn’t do it without telling you first. I promise that I will always be here for you and for your daddy as long as you both want me around. You both are so important to me and you complete me, you complete my life._

_Tomorrow, Miss Evie, I’m going to ask your daddy to marry me. Wish me luck._

_Love,_

_Louis_

When Harry opened his eyes the next morning, Christmas morning, it was to Louis who was leaned over and looking down at him, his lips spread into a wide smile. “Why are you up so early?” Harry asked groggily, shifting a little in the bed and opening his eyes a little wider when he realised that Evie wasn’t in the bed with them. 

“Wanted to give your present first,” Louis answered, shrugging his shoulders and looking down at Harry before leaning down to give him a quick kiss. “I love you, Merry Christmas,” Louis said against Harry’s lips, pulling back a moment later and looking down at him. 

“I love you too and Happy Christmas right back to you,” Harry said, scrunching his nose in an attempt to avoid his morning breath but a moment later he was leaning in to press a soft kiss to Louis’ lips. “I hope you got me a pony,” Harry said determinedly, looking up at Louis. 

“Well, this might not be a pony, but I thought this might work instead,” Louis said nervously, holding his hand up, a ring pressed between his thumb and forefinger, a simple ring with a small engraving around the outside of it. 

Harry blinked quickly, waking himself up fully as he looked at the ring and then at Louis, “Are you? Is this? Are you? Louis?” Harry stumbled out over his words, scooting up so his back was pressed against the headboard. 

Louis smiled, reaching up and pushing his fingers through Harry’s hair gently, tugging on it softly before whispering, “I am. Will you marry me, Harry?” 

Harry’s eyes filled with tears, and he scrunched his nose up to keep the tears from falling as he nodded quickly. “Of course. Of course, yes, of course I will. Everything is falling into place, finally,” Harry said as he reached up to pull Louis closer, melting their lips together in a soft and warm kiss.


End file.
